Ask the Bastards #12: The Future of Star Wars, Our Nerdy Possessions, And a Bastard Child of Immaculate Conception

Welcome once again to another reliably ridiculously round of Ask the Bastards, the weekly feature where you, the readers, get to ask us, the writers of Nerd Bastards, what we think about all manner of geeky topics. This week we’re talking about the good an bad of Disney purchasing LucasFilm and what it means for Star Wars and Indiana Jones. We share our favorite Nerdy possessions, and provide some electrifying comments about Jamie Foxx as Electro in Spider-Man 2.

Got a question for Ask the Bastards? Make sure to Like Us On Facebook or Follow Us On Twitter. We put out a call for questions every week, so keep your eye out. Also, if you’d like to know what we’ve tackled so far, you can peruse the Ask the Bastards archive here.

What is your most fav nerdy thing you purchased or wish you had. – Jennifer B.

I own one of those Master Replica “Gonzo” photo puppets — essentially a full sized Muppet without all the functionality of an actual Muppet. Anyway, I wish I had the Kermit and the Animal as well, and I really wish Master Replicas would make all of the primary Muppets so I could build a replica of the Muppet Show stage (complete with a balcony for Stadler and Waldorf). Yeah, I’m sure my wife would be totally fine with that. – Jason Tabrys

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe merch are, by far, my favorite things. I literally own every figure from the 80′s line, the revamp in 2002 and the current MOTU Classics from Mattel. I even bought a $300 power sword replica from some blacksmith in Venezuela. Collecting is about anchoring certain states or emotions to the toys because of what they mean to you. My attraction to action figures dressed in BDSM gear not withstanding, He-Man was my first child-hood toy. I feel that if I do not keep up with collecting He-Man, or other nerdy stuffs, then I am putting away my childhood. Being a man-child has influenced my imagination, creativity and identity. Why would I ever want to grow up? – Luke Gallagher

It has to be my prop replica of Marty McFly’s Back to the Future II hat. If you’ve watched the movie -and who hasn’t- it’s that sweet piece of hair covering technology Marty wears in the diner prior to his encounter with techno Biff and his gang of idiots in 2015. Now, if I could only afford those self-lacing Nike sneakers, a hover board and if someone can make a self-drying jacket, then my Marty McFly cosplay would finally be complete. –Nick Bungay

That is a tough one. I have a ton of statues that should make the cut, but I am going to go with the huge signed and numbered litho of Captain America by Alex Ross (Now framed) that hangs at the head of my bed. It would be the last thing to go if I ever had to sell all my crap. Now for the one I wished I had bought. I once had the opportunity to buy a box of Silver Age Spider-Man, about 100 books for $500, that was back before the first movie and I just couldn’t get over that total for some reason, they were fine to very fine at the time and I regret not picking them up.- Mark Poynter

It’s a toss up between by Darkwing Duck action figures, and my Dobby the House Elf bobble head from the DVD release of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. – Adam A. Donaldson

I think my most awesome moment was acquiring a copy of Amazing Fantasy #15. Unfortunately, it was in a younger era when my father and I were collecting, and I foolishly traded it away for a Kirby-signed X-Men #2. Which was cool, but that fucking book is now worth a shit-ton. To alleviate my grief, I remind myself that the cover was almost falling off, so it really wasn’t worth tens-of-thousands of dollars… (sad face) – Jason McAnelly

Hmm, most fav? It’s hard to say whether this is my most fav, it’s at least my most fav of the moment. A Tauntaun hobby horse. See, when I was at Dragon*Con there was a dealer who was selling them for $80. He was giving us his spiel saying they were Star Wars Celebration exclusives and he only had two to sell. I knew I really, really, really wanted one because, come on, Tauntaun hobby horse? That’s a conversation piece. But I was responsible and didn’t blow $80 bucks on one. In the end, I was rewarded because not too long after Think Geek was offering them at $30! Boom. I now own a Tauntaun hobby horse. – Sarah Moran

What are the Bastards thoughts on the purchase of all things Star Wars by Disney? Excited or dreading? Any worries? – Matthew S.

I’m curious about the impact beyond this new trilogy and I hope this is more about enriching the brand and creating new, amazing content and less about empty merchandising and bullshit cross promotion. Speaking of which, if you want to hear my full thoughts on the Disney/Star Wars marriage check out the latest episode of The Bastardcast. – Jason Tabrys

I’m of two minds on the subject. While it would create a chance for more content to be created (possibly a series based on the expanded Star Wars universe) there’s a distinct possibility of reviving long hated trends. Disney could bring Jar Jar Binks back into the public eye. If that happens, then the Empire has won. –Nick Bungay

So you’re worried about Disney acquiring Star Wars? Let me introduce you to episodes One, Two and Three. Point being, if Disney is the worst thing to happen to Star Wars apparently no ones heard of George Lucas. People need to calm the fuck down and actually look at this for what it is: EXACTLY WHAT WE ALL WANTED; i.e. Lucas handing the reigns to someone else. –Luke Gallagher

It’s going to be alright in the long run. It was going to get sold some time down the line. At least we’ll get to see some new stuff. – Mark Poynter

I’m also intrigued. I have faith that Disney isn’t going to taint the brand any further by inviting nerd rage on par with a re-introduction of Jar Jar Binks. (Although it’s worth pointing out that the episode of Clone Wars that featured Jar Jar wasn’t terrible.) Anyway, given the outcome of The Avengers, I think Disney knows how to treat their nerdy properties right, although I’ll reserve judgment until we get a screenwriter or director announcement. – Adam A. Donaldson

It may not be a popular opinion, but I think this is probably the best thing that could have happened. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel that Disney is like the Nazi party of modern movie entertainment, but at least they’ll be thinking about the property and making something of it. Lucas was so full of himself that he failed to continue the series or even allow others to do it. Sure, it’s his property, but the fans have a say in their needs as well. With Disney taking over, we’ll see more movies (and maybe even that TV series?) and a serious look at what made the originals so good. They’re not going to want to turn out another Episode I, II and III fiasco. They’ll want to play to the fans, bring in top-notch talent and spend shitloads of money on every project. I reckon we have some surprises ahead of us. Or I could be wrong and the future could seriously suck for Star Wars. – Jason McAnelly

It seems the consensus here is we’re all okay with Disney acquiring Lucasfilm. Disney has shown in the past that when it comes to buying out other companies, especially successful companies, they’re smart enough to let those companies keep doing whatever they were doing. See Pixar. They’re also very good at introducing new talent which gives a property a necessary boost. See Marvel. Knowing that, I believe Star Wars is in very, very good hands.

But, what I’m more interested in than this new trilogy, is what’s going to happen with The Clone Wars? – a series very near and dear to my heart and a wonderful example of how other creative forces can play in the same universe and make some damn good Star Wars. And speaking of letting others play with Lucasfilm’s toys, what about the fan films? For years there’s been a very good relationship between Lucasfilm and the fan film creators. Will it be the same with Disney in charge? Of that, I’m not too sure, being the large, successful business they are Disney is very protective of their stuff. – Sarah Moran

With all the fuss about Disney buying LucasArts everyone is focused on the future of Star Wars… but to my knowledge no one has said anything about Indiana Jones. What do you guys think about turning Indy into a Bond-like series of films all taking place during WWII (so we get Indy vs Nazis again)? Personally, I think this wouldn’t be such a bad idea! -Alex B.

Entertainment Weekly touched on what this all means for Indy, and it is a bit complicated. I honestly don’t think we’ll see another Indy movie with Harrison Ford. Will someone else try to re-boot it down the road? Never say never, though I really would like too… say never. With that said, and with Mola Ram’s hand to my chest, I’d pick Jon Hamm to wear the fedora and brandish the whip. Again though, I really hope they leave it alone or at least find a way to de-age Harrison Ford or clone him should a re-boot ever occur. – Jason Tabrys.

My hope is that an animated Indy series would get done. Take Indy and let the guys doing the Star Wars Clone Wars animated series have a crack at it. Harrison Ford could even do voice work for it. There is no end to the fun that show could be. – Mark Poynter

Considering that Steven Spielberg once said that Indy was his “James Bond” I think your idea has merit, Alex. Getting Ford, Lucas and Spielberg back to the table again for an Indiana Jones 5 seems unlikely at best, so why not open up the series to new actors and new creators, and before you say boo about how now one else can do Indy, I have four words for you, Young Indiana Jones Chronicles. I like the above suggestion of Jon Hamm, and maybe recruit Young Indy writer Frank Darabont to get rolling on a script and give him carte blanche. I’m saying it’ll be gold, but let’s see where it goes. – Adam A. Donaldson

I’ve made my views clear on this matter before, even to the point of getting dissed on by “other Jason” via the NerdBastards podcast (you jerk). But still I will persist! The Indiana Jones legendary storyline has so many gaps in it that it’s very easy to insert any number of stories within the already existing series. Sure, you’d have to give up Harrison Ford, but that’s a small thing in my opinion. As long as you find someone who rocks, you can treat it like a “Bond” thing and just play around with the history of the character. Don’t bother looking into the “future” of the arc, just look backward. Play with the character in his past, create a great backstory and history and really flesh out what is essentially little more than an action-driven trilogy (I don’t count the fourth as having existed). Maybe Disney can do this? – Jason McAnelly

Who did I lend my copy of Fell to, and why won’t Ellis do more of it?!? – Dan S.

That is your first mistake – lending it out. You need to develop the attitude that you are not lending books . . . you are a nerdy infectious virus sector spreading your nerdy cooties to the masses. Oh, and just keep a log of what and who you lend things to in your computer. – Mark Poynter

Are you collectively my dad? – Zachary D.

That would make you a child of immaculate conception. This, of course, means you’re destined to save the world. Kudos! –Luke Gallagher

Son or no son, get me a beer! –Nick Bungay

If Maury Povich pulls up in a van next to me I am going to get upset, that should only happen to a guy once in his life. – Mark Poynter

Sorry Zachary, but I always take care of my business. If you know what I mean. – Adam A. Donaldson

Zachary… we are your father. Join us and we will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy – Darth Vader… er, Jason McAnelly

Thoughts on Jaime Foxx playing Electro in the next Spidey movie? – Theman S.

It’s electric! I’m sorry. – Jason Tabrys

I’d much rather have Donald Glover as Electro. The studio may have screwed him over for Spider-man, but for the love of God give him Electro. #ElectricGlover –Nick Bungay

I just hope he brings his Ray Charles acting skills and not his Living Color Characters acting skills to the task. No one wants to see an all “Funny man” Electro. If he can do what Robert Downey Jr did with Stark then OK, otherwise play it straight.- Mark Poynter

I think the casting of the villains is the one thing all the Spider-Man movies, including the Raimi films, have gotten right. (I don’t blame the problems with Amazing on the actors, it was clear that thing was chopped up beyond recognition in the editing room.) Foxx is a very good actor, and frankly, I’d love to see what he could do with Electro. I’m definitely down for this casting. – Adam A. Donaldson

I’m game. Let’s see what the dude has to offer. – Jason McAnelly